Immigrants are very, very bad. All of them. Especially if they talk funny. Or get A’s in school, and want to go to college. Once, one of them tried to sneak onto Mitt Romney’s property and help paint his house! That was awful. But, everything will be okay if we build really big fences, hundreds and hundreds of miles long, and never ever close down Guantanamo Bay. Which made me feel a whole lot better, because it would be scary to have to be anywhere near someone who talked funny. Or got A’s in school.

Gay people are very, very bad–especially if they want to serve their country, raise families, or get married to someone they love very much. (I do not even want to think about the possibility of a gay person who talks funny.)

All taxes are very, very bad–but, if we have to have some, the only good ones are regressive, and will guarantee that poor people pay much more than anyone else. Because poor people are bad, too. And scary.

It is unbelievably bad to let people make medical and personal decisions about their own bodies–and the government must do something about this! Probably, doctors and patients should all just go to prison forever. There is plenty of room in our jails now, because Rudy eliminated all crimes in America, all by himself, I am happy to say.

There are only two countries in the Middle East. In one of them, called Eye-raq, everything would be perfectly fine, but some bad, mean, evil liberals won’t let the troops win. (That is, when they are not busy showing off by reading books other than the Lord’s Word. Which they enjoy doing, because they are bad. Maybe we should send them all off to Mars to get rid of them. They might like that, anyway, since they hate America.) The other country is called Eye-ran. They are scary. We’re going to have to do something about them. Something really bad.

Torture is maybe a little bit bad, except only John McCain thinks so–and everyone knows he’s been kind of funny in the head since he actually got tortured, so what does he know? Plus, foreign people did that to him–which is just another reminder of how scary they are, and that we must do everything we can to destroy all of them.

Except the rich ones, because maybe we can make them buy a bunch of our products first, to reduce the trade deficit, as long as they promise never to come near any of our fences.

The Bible is very, very good. It is all true. Every word. Probably. But, the part about Jonah is sort of confusing.

The death penalty is good. Jesus said so. If you can’t find the passage in the Good Book where it says that, I am certainly not going to show you, because that just proves that you don’t love the Lord enough.

And the best thing of all is guns. In fact, it is a whole lot of fun to throw your machine guns and rifles back and forth, especially when they are loaded. (Speaking of playing catch, the American League is also good, because it has the word “America” in it. It is important to ignore the fact that many of the players have scary foreign names.) And it would be wrong to register guns, or require any sort of license or exam, because it says right in the Constitution that guns are private! In big letters! That part about “militias” is just a typo. If you are a real American, you have a lot of guns.

And if not–you are just too scary to live here.

It’s hard to take the Iowa Caucus seriously, because it’s so random and idiosyncratic. A victory probably only means something, if the candidate comes out of nowhere–which seems highly unlikely in this perpetually media-saturated election cycle. Huckabee is a possbility, but at this point, that doesn’t seem that unexpected anymore. (Novak says,Huckabee ‘clearly departs from the mainstream of the conservative movement in his confusion of “growth” with “greed,”‘ which makes me wonder whether he’s more worried about his stock portfolio than anything else.) I love politics–but, I have to admit, I’m getting sort of tired of this endless horse race. Even this news made me say, okay, whatever, it’s about time.

But, this article–and the show itself–both made me giggle. The whole thing was, for lack of a better phrase, pointlessness-squared. This, however, made me sad–and, like many of us, I wasted some time mired in what-might-have-been. (Personally, I think Lower Manhattan would still be intact.) In any case, this article–while quite long, and probably very old news–is still well worth reading, and the follow-up is, too.

I’m not sure if this should have offended me–but, it did.

On a more cheery note, the Patriots hung on for a tough win yesterday. Which is good, because NFL games shouldn’t be easy.

Razor finally aired this weekend, but alas, it will be many months before we will be able to see another new Battlestar episode. Until then, I will have to speculate and natter on, with others of my kind, at this entertaining site.

Sometimes, I think I would very much like to pursue another career, so this caught my attention. I wonder if British citizenship is required.

All Red Sox fans will know why I am pleased.  Very pleased.

 Now, it’s time to relax and enjoy the off-season.  Yay!

In fact, if he were running for President, I would probably be in Iowa (nah, more likely, New Hampshire–to try and get a little early season skiing in, too) at this very moment. 

 I was thinking about this because yesterday, oddly, when I mentioned that I was from Atlanta orginally, someone gave me a grim look and asked if that meant I was a Southern conservative.  This befuddled me, and I said, well, my positions line up almost identically with Russ Feingold’s, if that helps you.  Which it didn’t.  (The Senator likes guns more than I do, but that may be the difference between living in an urban area and a rural one.)

I wish Feingold had thrown his little hat in the ring, but I suppose–since he makes so damn much sense–that he wouldn’t have had a chance. 

For some reason, that area of the country produces some unusually interesting politicians, mostly notably Paul Wellstone–who left us far too soon, alas.  (Hubert Humphrey and Eugene McCarthy also hailed from that neck of the woods, although dare a former Southerner like me mention such a thing?)

This is a good book, but I resent the fact that liberals now feel compelled to call themselves Progressives.  It offends me that the word “liberal” has suddenly found itself ranked among the worst insults in the world.  (A cheery example I invariably use is, if someone has just offered you some absolutely fabulous homemade ice cream, would you want a liberal serving of it–or a conservative one?  Me, I want the big old liberal serving) 

Although I do prefer pragmatic liberals, to the outraged-to-the-point-of-hysteria version, who never manage to do much more than be annoying and shrill.

Insofar as the South goes, I miss good old-fashioned yellow dog Democrats. 

Joe Biden is still doing extremely well in the debates–entirely under the radar, in my opinion–but I really wish he had risen above the temptation to announce that he spoke to both Musharraf and Bhutto, before the President did.  It may be true, but it was unseemly to toss it into a debate, I thought. 

Then again, the debate–in general–was fairly unseemly, and not wildly interesting.  Hillary had a better night, but I’m still looking for some genuine leadership, and not the calculated caution.  Which doesn’t mean that John McCain shouldn’t be ashamed of himself for allowing this insult to go essentially unremarked.  (Had the woman who made the remark been slightly less smug in her own right, it might not have seemed quite as gratuitous and unpleasant.) 

Iowa polls to the contrary, Barack still seems to be in free-fall, and the debate didn’t help him at all, in my opinion.  This piece has to have Adlai Stevenson rolling over in his grave.   There is no question that both men are smart, but I didn’t find the article at all convincing, in its attempt to paint Barack as Adlai’s ineffectual heir.   

And this latest Beltway story is just odd.  (although, as usual, Senator Obama’s staff handled it poorly–which continues to make me really nervous.  He seems to surround himself with low-level minor league talent, at best–and I don’t know about you, but I’m not looking for that in our next President.  I want the best and brightest minds in the country to fill important positions in the next Administration–in extreme contrast to the current one.)

Ah, enough politics for now.  Except that I am reading this, and recommend it.  I think he is a much more interesting and ambitious novelist than he ever seems to get credit for being–possibly because he has the bad luck to share a last name with a cottage-industry, heavily ghostwritten thriller writer?  Anyway, I’m not always crazy about his courtroom books, but the political ones are nifty, and fun–yet, also well-researched. 

I am not sure whether I want to read this.  Back in college, I would have been eager to grab it immediately.  Now?  Alas, no. 

Saw Razor on 42nd Street this week, and enjoyed it.  (Here is a review with spoilers; click at your own risk.  I liked it better than he did, especially up on the big screen.  Here are some more spoilers)  I was afraid that there would be people in costumes everywhere, but it was an after-work crowd in business clothes.  Total Battlestar addicts–but, comfortingly non-geeky ones.

Sign Mike Lowell, already, Theo!

Stowe opened for the season.  Life is good.

Liz B. has an interview with Ellen up on her blog,A Chair, A Fireplace, & A Tea Cozy. Head on over and check it out! (Minor spoilers for Long May She Reign.)

–makes me very dull.  I remember when I used to be a speedy and efficient worker; now, I am plodding and slow.  Or, it may just be some post-Post-Season malaise.  And the other Beloved Team has a bye week right now, so what is one to do?

My pal is dealing with a terrible scandal.  Oh, the horror!

With the strike, it looks as though we’re all going to be watching a lot of re-runs.  Recently, I have found that I need a Mary Cherry fix, and must address that.  Was it a flawed show?  Yes.  But, when it was on its game, it was genuinely hilarious.  It had a certain rhythm and style, which made it a complete giggle to watch.  Unfortunately, by adding a serious plot-thread during the second season, the show doomed itself, and sputtered to a finish.  Too bad.  I really liked it.

I caught my chum in the middle of a Buffy marathon recently, and was very jealous, even though he was–for unknown reasons–plowing through the disaster that was Season Six.  (with the notable exception of the musical, of course.)  I think I want to watch “Hush,” which has my single favorite scene of the entire series, and “Doppelgangland,” and “Passion,” and “Helpless,” and “Prophecy Girl,” and maybe even “Band Candy,” because I enjoy Jane Espenson’s sense of humor.  I do not particularly like Marti Noxon’s writing, but “The Wish” was actually pretty damn excellent. 

I adore Giles in every way–so, why am I Tara in this quiz?

Joss Whedon has a new series coming.  I am tentatively elated.

I think the Democratic Party, such as it is, had a really bad week.  Having major candidates conveniently skip the vote was extremely disappointing.  The next President is going to need to be bold and courageous–in order to try and fix the plethora of problems which s/he will face–and no one currently running seems to fall into that category. 

I don’t agree with her politics, but Peggy Noonan knows how to write.  Unfortunately, so does this guy, albeit not as well.  Luckily, Maureen Dowd does, too–and extremely well, indeed.

As ever, we really do need Laura Roslin to come back soon.  Until then, this will have to suffice.

Publisher’s Weekly has released their list of the best books of 2007, which included Long May She Reign.  

Long May She Reign
Ellen Emerson White (Feiwel & Friends)
A crisply authoritative first-person narration and a gritty plot line shot through with glimmers of fiercest hope make this lengthy fourth installment of the President’s Daughter series a novel to luxuriate in.

Publisher’s Weekly also gave Long May She Reign a starred review, and you can read that by visting this link.

Yeah, I’m probably going to talk about Iraq–but first, the Patriots need some praise.  Neither team was really sharp–and the officiating crew made what seemed like an intentional effort to insert themselves into the outcome–but, in the end, the Patriots did precisely what needed to be done.  Addai nearly won the game all by himself, though–it was a very impressive day on his part.  Bill Belichick may not be the most charming fellow ever (although I confess that I find him strangely–or maybe not so strangely–attractive), but seriously, if we had to go through D-Day again, wouldn’t you want him to be the guy planning it?  And read this, if you want to see why he is legitimately furious about the NFL using selective injustice against him earlier this season.  (Welcome to karma, dude.)

For those of you who dislike sports, you may stop skimming now, if so inclined.  But, if you hate politics, resume skimming at once. 

I don’t like the war in Iraq.  I thought it was stupid when it first came up; I think it’s stupid now.  I did support taking action in Afghanistan–even before September 11th.   After all, this was happening long before that terrible day.  By “action,” I don’t mean war, as such, but I think the international community could have been convinced to try and suppress the Taliban–and this could well have changed history.  Even this country might have agreed to help out, and that would certainly have had an impact on what is happening currently.  In fact, with intelligent leadership, we might have lots of friends we don’t have right now–and may never have again.  But, that is precisely the type of leadership we did not have–not even close–and it certainly hasn’t turned out very well.  There is no way anyone will ever know for sure, but I am quite convinced that if five members of the Supreme Court hadn’t decided to appoint a President of the United States all by themselves in 2000, the world would be entirely different–and some iconic buildings in lower Manhattan would still be standing. 

But, I digress.  Because, alas, we are in Iraq, and there is a dreadful mess to clean up.  On a short-term basis, the surge may be working a little bit, but unless our soldiers stay there indefinitely, that surely won’t be sustained, and that will have a devastating impact on the country for decades to come, I fear.  Both countries, actually.  If we were going to invade, there should have been a coherent plan–and the reality, I think, is that part of that plan would have required reinstating the draft.  Charlie Rangel may be a wacky guy, but I do think that he is right about this.  If there is going to be a major war, there really must be a sense of “shared sacrifice” across the country–or what you will end up with is….a defeat.  I very strongly believe that national service (not necessarily military, of course) should be a requirement for all citizens, and while I shudder at the thought of bringing back the draft, if we had a draft–with no loopholes–I suspect even the most bellicose Administration in history still wouldn’t be able to take the country to war against its will. 

But then again, as we know, this Administration’s idea of shared sacrifice is to say: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.”  Would it be that hard to suggest–for starters–oh, say, conserving energy?  Just a thought.

It is strange, actually, that yapping about the Patriots led me into thinking about Iraq so intensely.  But, really, Belichick’s win-at-all-costs; who-cares-if-it-is-pretty attitude is actually exactly what you need to win a war.  (Ever seen this page?  It’s quite damning.)  Yeah, it’s only football, but there’s a serious mind working there, and if he had taken a different life path and had been the Secretary of Defense back in 2003, it would be hard to convince me that the war–if, in fact, he had recommended such a thing, which it’s entirely possible he would have been far too intelligent to do–would not have turned out differently.

Right now, I am reading this.  But I think I would maybe rather be reading this.

Or possibly these, which I adored as a child.

Apparently so.  Who knew?

And here’s a piece of shocking news.  The real puzzle, of course, is why she was ever appointed to the position in the first place, since the notion always sounded more like a punch-line than anything else.

I was exceedingly tired–and working much too hard–last night, and completely forgot to watch the latest debate.  Thank God for C-Span, so that I can watch it later tonight online.  As a result, I have no idea whether this assessment is accurate, but in either case, I’m not sure whether the seemingly endless stream of debates does much–for either side–other than help members of the opposition store up more and more ammunition for the general election.  It’s often said that Senators have a terrible disadvantage, when it comes to running for President, because they have so many votes to explain.  And the electorate rarely has the patience to listen to legitimate “well, it was an excellent bill–except for the reprehensible amendment buried deep inside, and so, in the end, I really couldn’t vote for it” arguments.  Sometimes I wonder whether it really might be better to go back to the fabled smoke-filled rooms of old, insofar as selecting a candidate is concerned.

I’m not sure this was supposed to amuse me, but it did.  But then, apparently, I live in a place which is home to Stupid People–and so, it is easy to make us laugh.

I’m still, post-Beloved-Team, in a “Well, now what?!” fugue.  Which reminds me of an old favorite movie–but don’t click on the link, unless you want to have the ending spoiled.  (Small clue, in case you are having trouble making up your mind:  Robert Redford, 1972)  It actually doesn’t feel particularly dated, which was a nice surprise.  Last weekend, I watched Grease, with a 12 year old and an 8 year old–and to my dismay, the movie didn’t hold up at all.  Back in the day, I loved it. 

But, I am really looking forward to watching this.  At its best, it was truly wonderful, and surprisingly often, Holly Marie Combs would walk away with every single scene she was in, despite being surrounded by a superb cast.  If Ray Walston was the conscience of the show, she was very definitely the soul.  (Which I’ve always felt also held true for K.C. on China Beach, even though I find Marg Helgenberger’s current show, C.S.I., utterly unbearable.)  I’ll admit that I thought Charmed was a great deal of goofy fun, especially during the Shannen Doherty period, but I could never quite get past the sense that Ms. Combs was just–slumming.  Which seemed like such a waste of talent.

Wait a minute–now that the baseball season is over, it’s going to be all-television, all-the-time, for me?  God help us.  On the other hand, there are worse things. 

Of course, if I were one of those smart Washington people, I would be spending most of my time reading books.  Here’s another list.  My own would be considerably more low-brow, but so it goes, when you are not intellectual.  You feel compelled to read this.  (the best 25 cents you’ll ever spend!)  And you kind of can’t wait to get this one, even though you might be better off checking out this, instead. 

This will never stop being funny as hell.  Game on, Holmes!