I want to wake up, and have Al Gore getting ready to finish his second term. We all have health care. The economy continues to operate with a large surplus. The Kyoto Accord has been scrapped–because it wasn’t ambitious enough, and the new treaty is much better. Since we now have independent, renewable sources of energy, Saudi Arabia has lost much of its influence–and the rulers have been forced to start being nicer to women. (of all things!) Saddam is probably still in power, but he’s a completely marginalized loon, and the Gore Administration has been focused on trying to help Israel’s neighbors learn how to co-exist with an actual staunch democracy, and treat other countries in the region as genuine allies.

Many things have happened during the past eight years, but the best part of all is that the World Trade Center is standing right where it always was. It’s still not attractive, but it’s tall, and we’re fond of it, and thousands of people go to work there every day–and come home safely at night.

Sigh.

Instead, we’re living in a nightmare, and increasingly, Democrats are part of the problem. I’m not sure I want to post any links, because even space aliens have been sitting at their dinner tables all week saying, “whoa, this is out of control, when’s Opening Day?” (Side-note: life really is topsy-turvy, because President Bush was pretty funny.)

And James Carville is suddenly the voice of reason. I’m starting to think that we actually are living in a world without shrimp.

My grandmother–a person I miss absolutely every day–used to have a saying, “God don’t love ugly.” Mostly, she said it when my sisters and I quarreled–which was often. And if she were watching this current election campaign, I believe she would have me pour her some more sherry and say, “Honey, let’s put on some stories.” (”Stories,” being soap operas or television dramas.) We would be entertained. We would enjoy snacks. Life would be delightful.

I was watching CNN today, which showed a very lengthy clip of an angry reverend’s sermon, after which, the commentator said–with no sense of irony, “That was given on December 25th, 2007″ or words to that effect. In other words, it was Christmas. Which, within the context of the Christian faith, is generally considered kind of a Happy Day. Instead, the parishioners were bombarded with a stream of invective. I have to say, that is not a church I would attend twice–nor would I buy the CDs/DVDs/whatever, in order to listen to the shouting again at my leisure. (So, it goes without saying that I would not go again and again for twenty years–until, finally, my own personal ambition forced me to take the spiritual mentor from whom I purloined the title of my best-selling book–and throw him under a bus.)

This, of course, after tossing Samantha Power onto the subway tracks, while the other campaign hurled Geraldine Ferraro out of an airplane–and, well, God don’t love ugly. (obviously, insert your own higher-power-of-choice–or no higher power whatsoever–into that statement, to make it fit within your personal belief system.)

Can the grown-ups come out and play now? Are there any grown-ups left?

Here is what I think is going to happen. Senator Obama will be the nominee in November–and he will lose. It won’t be pretty, and if Senator McCain is wily enough to pick Colin Powell or Elizabeth Dole or someone of similar stature as a running mate, it will be an absolute landslide. You can crunch the numbers right and left, but Senator Clinton isn’t going to be able to pull the Democratic nomination out–without half of the Party sitting at home in November and sulking, as they toss their beanbags up and down in the air. I think the smart move would have been for her to pull out quite some time ago, let Senator Obama take the complete blame for the upcoming November debacle, and then learn from her mistakes and run a much better campaign in 2012. But, I’m pretty sure she is going to keep scuffling all the way to Denver–and the end result will be that two potentially fine Presidents are going to crash and burn. There’s something to be said for being a statesman or woman–and I sure as hell haven’t seen one in either campaign lately.

So disappointing. So unnecessary. So incredibly short-sighted, and stupid. The only thing I can say with reasonable certainty is that I have no intention of voting for anyone I do not consider a grown-up. Which puts me in quite a pickle.

All things being equal, I found this site more interesting than anything else I read today–although it is, by no means, cheery.

However, I was here recently, and it was excellent.

And I don’t like the war, but this is cool.

Finally saw Juno. Totally dug it. If I were ever involved with a movie–a scenario I do not anticipate, frankly–I would want Ellen Page to be in it. I am looking forward to seeing Smart People next month.

Yeah, I’m probably going to talk about Iraq–but first, the Patriots need some praise.  Neither team was really sharp–and the officiating crew made what seemed like an intentional effort to insert themselves into the outcome–but, in the end, the Patriots did precisely what needed to be done.  Addai nearly won the game all by himself, though–it was a very impressive day on his part.  Bill Belichick may not be the most charming fellow ever (although I confess that I find him strangely–or maybe not so strangely–attractive), but seriously, if we had to go through D-Day again, wouldn’t you want him to be the guy planning it?  And read this, if you want to see why he is legitimately furious about the NFL using selective injustice against him earlier this season.  (Welcome to karma, dude.)

For those of you who dislike sports, you may stop skimming now, if so inclined.  But, if you hate politics, resume skimming at once. 

I don’t like the war in Iraq.  I thought it was stupid when it first came up; I think it’s stupid now.  I did support taking action in Afghanistan–even before September 11th.   After all, this was happening long before that terrible day.  By “action,” I don’t mean war, as such, but I think the international community could have been convinced to try and suppress the Taliban–and this could well have changed history.  Even this country might have agreed to help out, and that would certainly have had an impact on what is happening currently.  In fact, with intelligent leadership, we might have lots of friends we don’t have right now–and may never have again.  But, that is precisely the type of leadership we did not have–not even close–and it certainly hasn’t turned out very well.  There is no way anyone will ever know for sure, but I am quite convinced that if five members of the Supreme Court hadn’t decided to appoint a President of the United States all by themselves in 2000, the world would be entirely different–and some iconic buildings in lower Manhattan would still be standing. 

But, I digress.  Because, alas, we are in Iraq, and there is a dreadful mess to clean up.  On a short-term basis, the surge may be working a little bit, but unless our soldiers stay there indefinitely, that surely won’t be sustained, and that will have a devastating impact on the country for decades to come, I fear.  Both countries, actually.  If we were going to invade, there should have been a coherent plan–and the reality, I think, is that part of that plan would have required reinstating the draft.  Charlie Rangel may be a wacky guy, but I do think that he is right about this.  If there is going to be a major war, there really must be a sense of “shared sacrifice” across the country–or what you will end up with is….a defeat.  I very strongly believe that national service (not necessarily military, of course) should be a requirement for all citizens, and while I shudder at the thought of bringing back the draft, if we had a draft–with no loopholes–I suspect even the most bellicose Administration in history still wouldn’t be able to take the country to war against its will. 

But then again, as we know, this Administration’s idea of shared sacrifice is to say: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.”  Would it be that hard to suggest–for starters–oh, say, conserving energy?  Just a thought.

It is strange, actually, that yapping about the Patriots led me into thinking about Iraq so intensely.  But, really, Belichick’s win-at-all-costs; who-cares-if-it-is-pretty attitude is actually exactly what you need to win a war.  (Ever seen this page?  It’s quite damning.)  Yeah, it’s only football, but there’s a serious mind working there, and if he had taken a different life path and had been the Secretary of Defense back in 2003, it would be hard to convince me that the war–if, in fact, he had recommended such a thing, which it’s entirely possible he would have been far too intelligent to do–would not have turned out differently.

Right now, I am reading this.  But I think I would maybe rather be reading this.

Or possibly these, which I adored as a child.