I am not enjoying this campaign cycle.  I am not looking forward to November.  I have actually been surly and a bit short-tempered lately, as a direct result, which is–one likes to think–somewhat out of character.  So, it’s clearly time for a break.

Lucky for me, the Beloved Team can fill the breach!  After the long trip to Japan, the bizarre exhibition games in Los Angeles, and now, games in Oakland and Toronto, I expect the team to be somewhat sluggish out of the gate, but it’s a long season, and many days and nights of fun await one and all.  Recently, I happened to be talking to a Yankees fan (the team also known as The Evil Ones) on the street and was able to say, very kindly, something to the effect of “You all have a nice, little team.  Perhaps one of these years, you will be able to win a pennant again.”  Frankly, it made my day.  Possibly my century.

I saw Stop-Loss, and recommend it, but without wild enthusiasm.  It’s certainly not a great movie–and it might not even be a good one, but it’s a strong, and probably unnecessary, reminder that the situation in Iraq is an absolute disaster, and is almost certainly going to continue to be so for many, many years.  And Joseph Gordon-Levitt has–somewhat to my surprise, since I mostly just associate him with the fluffy, if fun, Third Rock from the Sun–become quite an interesting actor.

For anyone who hasn’t already heard that Joss Whedon has a new show coming out, starring Eliza Dushku, the plot sounds intriguing and I have already begun my official countdown, as I wait for the first episode to air. Ever since Ms. Dushku first swaggered onto the screen as Faith, I’ve been a fan, and am curious to see whether she really does have the untapped range I suspect lurks somewhere inside.

I enjoyed a Del’s Lemonade over the weekend.  It was from a mix, I think, and so, lacked the pieces of fresh lemon a sensible person prefers–but, I was still delighted to drink it.

And life is good when you get to have a traditional New England supper on a Saturday night.  Ours included home-made cole-slaw, with no mayonnaise, of course–since it is well-known among my people that the substance almost always dooms your salad to utter mediocrity.

Yesterday, a pal alerted me to the fact that Drugs are probably Bad.  Be warned!

I want to wake up, and have Al Gore getting ready to finish his second term. We all have health care. The economy continues to operate with a large surplus. The Kyoto Accord has been scrapped–because it wasn’t ambitious enough, and the new treaty is much better. Since we now have independent, renewable sources of energy, Saudi Arabia has lost much of its influence–and the rulers have been forced to start being nicer to women. (of all things!) Saddam is probably still in power, but he’s a completely marginalized loon, and the Gore Administration has been focused on trying to help Israel’s neighbors learn how to co-exist with an actual staunch democracy, and treat other countries in the region as genuine allies.

Many things have happened during the past eight years, but the best part of all is that the World Trade Center is standing right where it always was. It’s still not attractive, but it’s tall, and we’re fond of it, and thousands of people go to work there every day–and come home safely at night.

Sigh.

Instead, we’re living in a nightmare, and increasingly, Democrats are part of the problem. I’m not sure I want to post any links, because even space aliens have been sitting at their dinner tables all week saying, “whoa, this is out of control, when’s Opening Day?” (Side-note: life really is topsy-turvy, because President Bush was pretty funny.)

And James Carville is suddenly the voice of reason. I’m starting to think that we actually are living in a world without shrimp.

My grandmother–a person I miss absolutely every day–used to have a saying, “God don’t love ugly.” Mostly, she said it when my sisters and I quarreled–which was often. And if she were watching this current election campaign, I believe she would have me pour her some more sherry and say, “Honey, let’s put on some stories.” (”Stories,” being soap operas or television dramas.) We would be entertained. We would enjoy snacks. Life would be delightful.

I was watching CNN today, which showed a very lengthy clip of an angry reverend’s sermon, after which, the commentator said–with no sense of irony, “That was given on December 25th, 2007″ or words to that effect. In other words, it was Christmas. Which, within the context of the Christian faith, is generally considered kind of a Happy Day. Instead, the parishioners were bombarded with a stream of invective. I have to say, that is not a church I would attend twice–nor would I buy the CDs/DVDs/whatever, in order to listen to the shouting again at my leisure. (So, it goes without saying that I would not go again and again for twenty years–until, finally, my own personal ambition forced me to take the spiritual mentor from whom I purloined the title of my best-selling book–and throw him under a bus.)

This, of course, after tossing Samantha Power onto the subway tracks, while the other campaign hurled Geraldine Ferraro out of an airplane–and, well, God don’t love ugly. (obviously, insert your own higher-power-of-choice–or no higher power whatsoever–into that statement, to make it fit within your personal belief system.)

Can the grown-ups come out and play now? Are there any grown-ups left?

Here is what I think is going to happen. Senator Obama will be the nominee in November–and he will lose. It won’t be pretty, and if Senator McCain is wily enough to pick Colin Powell or Elizabeth Dole or someone of similar stature as a running mate, it will be an absolute landslide. You can crunch the numbers right and left, but Senator Clinton isn’t going to be able to pull the Democratic nomination out–without half of the Party sitting at home in November and sulking, as they toss their beanbags up and down in the air. I think the smart move would have been for her to pull out quite some time ago, let Senator Obama take the complete blame for the upcoming November debacle, and then learn from her mistakes and run a much better campaign in 2012. But, I’m pretty sure she is going to keep scuffling all the way to Denver–and the end result will be that two potentially fine Presidents are going to crash and burn. There’s something to be said for being a statesman or woman–and I sure as hell haven’t seen one in either campaign lately.

So disappointing. So unnecessary. So incredibly short-sighted, and stupid. The only thing I can say with reasonable certainty is that I have no intention of voting for anyone I do not consider a grown-up. Which puts me in quite a pickle.

All things being equal, I found this site more interesting than anything else I read today–although it is, by no means, cheery.

However, I was here recently, and it was excellent.

And I don’t like the war, but this is cool.

Finally saw Juno. Totally dug it. If I were ever involved with a movie–a scenario I do not anticipate, frankly–I would want Ellen Page to be in it. I am looking forward to seeing Smart People next month.

It is a small state, but a delightful one–where, as it happens, I grew up.

Rhode Island makes the best lemonade in the world.

We enjoy tasty treats like coffee milk and johnnycakes. And if you are homesick, you can always order delicacies from the Ocean State, or attempt to prepare them yourself.

There are great beaches–and if you are peculiar enough to enjoy seafood, there are many fine spots to sample local traditions like clam cakes. (I do not care for them, but I am very much in the minority. The restaurants are nifty, in any case.)

You can get an excellent education, even though you may speak with an odd accent. Regardless, we tend to be a happy group of people, because things like this make us laugh our heads off.

Proms are held at fun places.

It is possible to watch the Baby Red Sox for less than ten dollars a ticket.

I learned how to ski in Rhode Island.

The mayor of Providence was my pal in high school. I hope he runs for governor, during the next election cycle–and have no doubt that he would win.

I love the way the state votes!

Apparently so.  Who knew?

And here’s a piece of shocking news.  The real puzzle, of course, is why she was ever appointed to the position in the first place, since the notion always sounded more like a punch-line than anything else.

I was exceedingly tired–and working much too hard–last night, and completely forgot to watch the latest debate.  Thank God for C-Span, so that I can watch it later tonight online.  As a result, I have no idea whether this assessment is accurate, but in either case, I’m not sure whether the seemingly endless stream of debates does much–for either side–other than help members of the opposition store up more and more ammunition for the general election.  It’s often said that Senators have a terrible disadvantage, when it comes to running for President, because they have so many votes to explain.  And the electorate rarely has the patience to listen to legitimate “well, it was an excellent bill–except for the reprehensible amendment buried deep inside, and so, in the end, I really couldn’t vote for it” arguments.  Sometimes I wonder whether it really might be better to go back to the fabled smoke-filled rooms of old, insofar as selecting a candidate is concerned.

I’m not sure this was supposed to amuse me, but it did.  But then, apparently, I live in a place which is home to Stupid People–and so, it is easy to make us laugh.

I’m still, post-Beloved-Team, in a “Well, now what?!” fugue.  Which reminds me of an old favorite movie–but don’t click on the link, unless you want to have the ending spoiled.  (Small clue, in case you are having trouble making up your mind:  Robert Redford, 1972)  It actually doesn’t feel particularly dated, which was a nice surprise.  Last weekend, I watched Grease, with a 12 year old and an 8 year old–and to my dismay, the movie didn’t hold up at all.  Back in the day, I loved it. 

But, I am really looking forward to watching this.  At its best, it was truly wonderful, and surprisingly often, Holly Marie Combs would walk away with every single scene she was in, despite being surrounded by a superb cast.  If Ray Walston was the conscience of the show, she was very definitely the soul.  (Which I’ve always felt also held true for K.C. on China Beach, even though I find Marg Helgenberger’s current show, C.S.I., utterly unbearable.)  I’ll admit that I thought Charmed was a great deal of goofy fun, especially during the Shannen Doherty period, but I could never quite get past the sense that Ms. Combs was just–slumming.  Which seemed like such a waste of talent.

Wait a minute–now that the baseball season is over, it’s going to be all-television, all-the-time, for me?  God help us.  On the other hand, there are worse things. 

Of course, if I were one of those smart Washington people, I would be spending most of my time reading books.  Here’s another list.  My own would be considerably more low-brow, but so it goes, when you are not intellectual.  You feel compelled to read this.  (the best 25 cents you’ll ever spend!)  And you kind of can’t wait to get this one, even though you might be better off checking out this, instead. 

This will never stop being funny as hell.  Game on, Holmes!

Literally millions of us love them–and they don’t love us back.   In fact, mostly, I’m pretty sure they don’t even like us.  (warning, that last link contains extreme profanity.  Appropriate to the situation, but be forewarned, in case you have a delicate nature.)

This rejection of our love is a cruel truth, but a truth, nevertheless.  I may have to spend the entire night (I surely will not be sleeping peacefully), listening to this.  Or, it might be nice to have Fraulein Maria show up and sing something comforting.

Not that I’m feeling, you know, bitter or anything, after spending the weekend in Baltimore.  I did, at least, enjoy a delicious Cobb salad this afternoon, so, all was not lost. 

Since I am now thinking about jazz, it goes without saying I love Mr. Coltrane, but for my money, this is The Guy.  You can scarcely go wrong with any of his albums, but this is a good place to start.  Especially Skylark, which is wonderful in any form, but Jug’s version is almost as good as the one by The Honest and True Queen of All Music on the Johnny Mercer Songbook.  I had the tremendous good fortune to see what happened to be her very last concert at Radio City, and despite the fact that she had to be helped out onto the stage, and we were near the back of the highest balcony, it was absolutely excellent.  Her performance of “Night in Tunisia” (a song I love so much I once used it in a book) is something I genuinely won’t ever forget. 

There was an elderly woman, dressed in her Sunday best, sitting next to us, and she literally spent the entire concert with her hands clasped together and with so much joy on her face, that everyone who saw her smiled, too.  The whole time.  During the intermission, she told me she had been saving up for her ticket for weeks, and that the last time she had seen Ms. Fitzgerald sing in person had been–in the 1930s, at the Apollo.  Wow.  How cool is that?! 

And if this leads you to believe that I was standing a few feet from the Oval Office on Saturday morning, that is because I was.  However, I feel confident in saying that this fact will lead to no policy changes whatsoever.

I am a huge fan of Elaine May, both as a writer–and as a genuinely hilarious actress.  But, strangely, almost no one ever talks about what I consider one of her two best movies, In the Spirit.  Or, maybe this is not strange, since despite the fact I have been recommending this movie to people for years, I only know two other people on the planet who love it–and they happen to be my parents.  But, what can I tell you–we laugh our heads off every time we see it.  I’m not sure even how to begin to describe the story, but it captures a wonderfully accurate version of my adored New York City, and explores female friendship, and Melanie Griffith gives her best performance ever in a tiny cameo–well, shoot, if you can find a copy, grab it and run.  (Unless it’s my copy, upon which, I will chase you down.)

 I may frighten off anyone who happened to read this when I say that Marlo Thomas is Ms. May’s co-star in this movie, but she is also extremely funny in this film–and, well, it’s in my top five favorite movies of all time, I think.  Since it was something of a commercial flop, it’s pretty hard to find, but you could always try here.  I don’t think they have issued a DVD yet, but boy, I hope they do.  I remember seeing this movie with a close friend the night it opened in Boston, and the theatre was pretty much sold out–and several hundred people were grimly silent for the next hour and forty minutes, and one person (yes, that would be me) cracked up the entire time–to the point that people stared and pointed and made snide and cruel remarks about said unfortunate person.  My friend hated it so much that I was afraid she might stop speaking to me forever, but luckily, we are still good pals.

 If you can’t find In the Spirit, another overlooked gem is Elaine May’s star turn with Walter Matthau, in A New Leaf , back in 1971.  This one is also tough to find, although you might luck out on Ebay, or one of my favorite sites, Half.com, or you could try this.

I gather Elaine May is not everyone’s cup of tea, but when I was a child, my mother used to play her Nichols & May records all the time (and if you can find one of those in CD format, let me know, and I’ll buy it from you immediately), and so, I was brainwashed to like her from a very early age.  My mother also got me hooked on the deadpan brilliance of Bob Newhart, particularly this famous comedy set.

And another oddball movie I adore–which also seems to annoy most people who see it–is the very sadly obscure Hot Millions, starring Maggie Smith and Peter Ustinov, with Mr. Newhart showing up in a small, but pivotal, role as a smarmy, annoying–and delightful–character.

Maggie Smith has, of course, never given anything but a brilliant performance in her entire life, and as British actors go, is second in my affections only to the positively incomparable Diana Rigg as Emma Peel.

I love Emma Peel almost as much as I love The Team That Makes Me Crazy.